Hello hello, lovely stepmoms. Today I want to talk about a very important subject for me which is boundaries. There is a fundamental difference between boundaries and walls, and for me, that is the standard. Let me explain that a bit better for you. For me, putting up a wall would come out of an angry place. You don’t want anyone to come in - whether it’s your emotional life or your physical space, you don’t want anyone to enter. The reason may be unknown, but you choose so. The boundary, on the other hand, comes from a STANDARD that you set on how people can act towards you; what you tolerate and what you don’t; what people can expect from you and your interaction with them.
Boundaries are healthy. Walls are not. Boundaries can help nurture and grow a relationship beautifully because they stem from self-respect as well as respect for others, whereas walls come from fear and anger which only cause separation between you and the outer world. It is important to set boundaries with your husband, your kids, and even the bio mom. I know this last topic may be very hard for some of you, but you can support those boundaries with rules as well.
Sometimes it is hard for independent people not to set walls because we feel like we don't need anyone else. That teaches us a lesson in vulnerability. Let’s accept help from other people because when we work as a team, we can be stronger than as individuals. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place for everything, but if someone offers a helping hand, take it. Don’t be proud and lend yours to someone in need.
What are your thoughts on boundaries? Let me know some examples of situations in which you have set them and have made things better. I love hearing from you.
Love and Bliss,
ChaVonne
